Could it be that God genuinely wants me to heal from the pain of my sin?
It is so incredibly difficult to grasp this concept, that perhaps the God I call Father operates differently from everything I have ever known. My parents taught me that I must suffer the consequences of my actions and that the damage and pain caused by some mistakes can never be undone. I teach my own children that there are consequences for their actions and attempt to be consistent in order to ensure that there are, in fact, consequences for their actions. Could it be that we must often pay the worldly consequences but can - if we choose - have complete healing and pardon through Christ? Be free from the pain and suffering that we know is deserved and earned?
I am realizing more each day the level of awesomeness I am dealing with here.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
"God always causes me to triumph in Jesus Christ." 2 Corinthians 2:14
Precious Father,
Today I worship you. You deliver beyond my wildest expectations. As is promised, you always cause me to triumph in Jesus Christ...despite my disobedience, my self-inflicted pain and consequence, my reluctance to choose whatever is right, pure, noble, lovely, over whatever is temporary and ultimately painful.
As I raise these beautiful babies in your name, I choose to live a life of consistent obedience - in order to teach by example, to heal, to build a beautiful future, and above all, to bring you the GLORY. You are so worthy of my praise and obedience, and I am so undeserving of your love and grace and forgiveness and mercy.
Your ever grateful child.
Precious Father,
Today I worship you. You deliver beyond my wildest expectations. As is promised, you always cause me to triumph in Jesus Christ...despite my disobedience, my self-inflicted pain and consequence, my reluctance to choose whatever is right, pure, noble, lovely, over whatever is temporary and ultimately painful.
As I raise these beautiful babies in your name, I choose to live a life of consistent obedience - in order to teach by example, to heal, to build a beautiful future, and above all, to bring you the GLORY. You are so worthy of my praise and obedience, and I am so undeserving of your love and grace and forgiveness and mercy.
Your ever grateful child.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I know not what tomorrow holds; what struggles lie ahead of us. I know not how my children's hearts have been affected by the losses they have suffered. I'm still not sure how God plans to use our incredible story of redemption and grace.
But I know that the God I call Father has brought glory out of a very dark place, has redeemed my soul and rebuilt my spirit. Has given us a glimpse of hope during every dark moment...a moment of wisdom in every fear-filled moment.
I am so incredibly undeserving of his love and healing, and wholly willing to accept it regardless. What joy it is to be a child of God.
But I know that the God I call Father has brought glory out of a very dark place, has redeemed my soul and rebuilt my spirit. Has given us a glimpse of hope during every dark moment...a moment of wisdom in every fear-filled moment.
I am so incredibly undeserving of his love and healing, and wholly willing to accept it regardless. What joy it is to be a child of God.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Nothing says home like spaghetti.
I had to work this morning, but this afternoon was spent with two loved and beautiful children. They brushed my hair, colored larger than life pictures of superman, collected rocks, and waded in the pool. They told me stories and erupted with giggles; asked questions; requested snuggles.
Words of affirmations are nice, but my children know love through action. They feel it when I kiss their scraped knees, when I wipe up spilled milk, when we play the 16th game of hide and seek in an hour...
...and when I cook spaghetti.
I had to work this morning, but this afternoon was spent with two loved and beautiful children. They brushed my hair, colored larger than life pictures of superman, collected rocks, and waded in the pool. They told me stories and erupted with giggles; asked questions; requested snuggles.
Words of affirmations are nice, but my children know love through action. They feel it when I kiss their scraped knees, when I wipe up spilled milk, when we play the 16th game of hide and seek in an hour...
...and when I cook spaghetti.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Alex and Mya are building a campsite in the living room, fully equipped with a pretend bathroom and kitchen.
Somehow, I have come out on top. This reinforces the fact that I serve a merciful, just, and beautiful Savior who most definitely desires to heal the pains of our poor decisions and mold our hearts.
For many years I have laid my head on my pillow at the close of the day and reiterated my stresses, my needs, and my worries to the God who will listen. A few weeks ago, I read the words of Jesus in the book of Matthew. He encourages us not to ramble about our needs because God sees our hearts and knows our needs before we speak of them. Instead, he says, pray the Lord's Prayer. Worship the God who sees your heart and seek to know him more and become more like him; take confidence in the fact that he knows your heart and desires to heal it.
Since I have transformed my prayer habits, I have been blessed beyond belief! I find such clear direction in my decision making and feel so consistently solid in my faith. I rest easily since my last thoughts are worshipful and not needful.
So grateful that our Savior has left us instructions on nearly everything. So grateful that he sees my heart and calls me his child. So incredibly grateful to be a child of God, seeing through the eyes of God and raising children who are excited about the promises of Christ.
Somehow, I have come out on top. This reinforces the fact that I serve a merciful, just, and beautiful Savior who most definitely desires to heal the pains of our poor decisions and mold our hearts.
For many years I have laid my head on my pillow at the close of the day and reiterated my stresses, my needs, and my worries to the God who will listen. A few weeks ago, I read the words of Jesus in the book of Matthew. He encourages us not to ramble about our needs because God sees our hearts and knows our needs before we speak of them. Instead, he says, pray the Lord's Prayer. Worship the God who sees your heart and seek to know him more and become more like him; take confidence in the fact that he knows your heart and desires to heal it.
Since I have transformed my prayer habits, I have been blessed beyond belief! I find such clear direction in my decision making and feel so consistently solid in my faith. I rest easily since my last thoughts are worshipful and not needful.
So grateful that our Savior has left us instructions on nearly everything. So grateful that he sees my heart and calls me his child. So incredibly grateful to be a child of God, seeing through the eyes of God and raising children who are excited about the promises of Christ.
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