Saturday, September 26, 2009


There are good days and bad days, but the sun shines a little brighter than I ever thought it would.

I sit at the table and have my coffee, check my email, taking in the morning sunlight, while Alex practices somersaults and Mya struggles to get both legs into one leg-hole of AJ's Cookie Monster underwear.

Who am I to question where this life will lead me? Time to sit back and enjoy the ride.

I have a date tomorrow...Feels like number 347 since being single. There is a fair chance I will pick him apart (or tear him up, as I hear I'm known for) like I have picked the rest of them apart, but I will doll up and go eagerly regardless. One day I will get there and I will know he's different...

And until then, I will enjoy every Cream of Wheat-filled, can't-wait-till-bedtime, giggle-over-nothing-and-everything day with my babies.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

The babies I love.

At home.

I took the kids to the homecoming game in town last night. I was anxious about being in that social situation and possibly not knowing anybody who was there or not fitting in or not being able to keep the kids calm and collected.

Really, it was a beautiful night and great time for us. We had snow cones, one of which ended up on my pants, leaving a red stain that covered my entire right thigh. My phone went flying down the bleachers, Mya lost her balance once, and both kids had sticky snow cone juice from head to toe. The people around us were endeared - not annoyed - by my children and their imperfections. I was endeared, too :)

When they got too restless, we headed to the grassy area past the endzone, where there must have been 100 small children running wildly. Alex and Mya recognized many of their friends from their old daycare, and I knew most of the parents there in different ways - from the dentist, from swimming lessons, vacation bible school, daycare, or the park.

We felt at home. It was a good feeling.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

A step forward.

The kids are asleep, the house is quiet, and I'm wasting another evening trying to determine how to take back the past.

I feel like I have *nearly* allowed this situation to overcome me. I am still making it, paycheck to paycheck, without assistance. I am still loving those babies every moment I have with them. I'm just barely keeping clean dishes in the cupboards and clean clothes in the closets. Slappin' a lil makeup on every morning :) So I'm winning...But it's two steps forward, one step back.

Today is a decent day. A step forward day.