Mya is babbling and toddling around the house, thrilling herself with simple pleasures. Alex is playing rock band with a measuring-cup drumstick and a Metallica version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I notice both of them peek at me from time to time for a giggle or a smile or an "I'm gonna get you!" followed by a tickle-monster attack.
I am so blessed. One trip to the grocery store reminds me that not all mothers are blessed with the material and emotional means to love their babies up and nurture them in the way their hearts desire. I thank God daily for guiding me and blessing me and making our family work.
My job pays on the first of every month. When the check came this month, it was very short because of several storm days and a day in the hospital with Mya. I was sick to my stomach for the entire week leading up to payday. Looking ahead in the schedule, I became even more concerned when I saw that there were vacations scheduled for at least the next three months. I thought I would have to leave because I couldn't afford to feed these babies on that income.
Finally, the night before last, I asked God to take the burden from me and make it his. I have a complex -- I always need to resolve things on my own. But at that point, I knew I had worked hard, hadn't spent an unnecessary dime, and had applied for a second job. I could do nothing more. So I gave it to him and asked him to take over.
The next morning I showed up for work, and the dentist handed me a check. He apologized for the inconsistent schedule and the small paycheck, offered me a $1 raise (bringing me to far more than any unqualified person deserves for a position like this), and guaranteed me a minimum monthly income from here on out. After he left, I opened the check praying it was for at least $150.00. It was for almost $700.
So today, here's to Jesus. And to letting him do what he wants to do for us. Giving up control is never easy, but who am I to think I was the one in control in the first place? I credit him for my ability to love these children in spite of the pain. For the ability to feed them according to my standards in spite of the financial difficulty. For the recognition of the value of these years of their lives. I am blessed.